Mashups are great fun. Here is a GTA / Frogger Mash.

Was Frogger really great? I found it boring. In the day, worth only a quarter or two of my arcade coinage. BUT a GTA Frogger would be great! And here is what it would look like. I'm going to Game Stop to reserve my copy!

Touché "Chris O'Shea" Giant Hand Molests People

Touché Chris O'Shea!

What do you get when you molest and squash live people with a Giant hand? We discover its a giggling crowd and lots of booty shaking. Very cool use of ultra-large screen and public curiosity. In this Art experience, by Chris O'Shea (ChrisOShea.org), we learn how much fun being the hand of God really is.

A video camera shows a live image of the audience, who are also participants, watching themselves on a giant screen. Antics ensue when a God-sized hand begins to poke, prod, squash and interact with them. W2G Chris!

Now if only I could get one of these to Washington. There are a few politicians I'd like to give major noogies to. A little squishing would work well too. Universal Single Payer Healthcare will help the economy. Its good for America and Americans!

Hand from Above from Chris O'Shea on Vimeo.

Windows 7: Does it Suck? Why I'm MAD AT MICROSOFT.

How stupid can one committee be? Last night, seeing ads from both Apple and Microsoft, I suddenly realized... there are NO limits! Consider the OS war between Apple and Microsoft. Apple has about 6.5% of the market and Microsoft around 89%. In the “dominance category” we have a clear winner. We know that most people use Microsoft’s Windows yet Microsoft can’t make an ad worth watching. Why? I believe the reason is... committees.

Apple’s recent ad, if you haven’t seen it, shows “PC”, a man dressed in a polyester suit, making the claim that Windows 7 fixes all the problems of the past. Then it shows “PC” in the garb of decades past, making the same claim for each previous version of Windows. Very effective at casting Microsoft as a group of vapid boneheads.

Microsoft’s answer? A series of ads showing “regular people” telling us “Windows 7 was [their] idea”. How stupid is that? Do you really want Uncle Morty designing your OS? Stupid! But this is the type of work-product that a committee thinks is brilliant.

Definition wise, a committee is a group of people assigned to a specific function. But in reality it is a group of people afraid to look silly to other committee members. So they champion the popular idea working feverishly NOT to venture too far away or take a stand that might seem risky. They stick together like frightened tourists, lost in the jungle, hoping to find their guide before they miss the buffet.

I can see the ad execs sitting around a table and saying, “what if we appeal to common people by pretending THEY made the OS. They can’t hate what they’ve made, right?” And the entire committee nods in unison like a bunch of cheap bobble-heads. Bingo, Windows 7 stupid ad is born.

You need vision to make a great ad or invent or solve a vexing problem. Committees don’t have vision. Each person’s fear tempers the idea until it is a wisp of what it could have been. Microsoft you should know that by now. You were once a startup who took chances and lived on the edge.

Microsoft needs a bold move to bring their product out of Apple’s toilet. Don’t get me wrong, I love Apple and I respect Microsoft. True, I switched to Mac several years ago but I run XP via Parallels on my Mac all the time. I need both companies to do what I do. But what gets me mad is how bad the new Microsoft ads are. Comparing Apple and Microsoft ads is like watching someone punch Grandma. No matter how much she deserves it, you still feel bad for Grandma.

The day of the committee should be over. But frightened Pseudo-Executives use them to cover their backsides if something goes wrong. I hate committees. I believe they cause most of the problems in this World. Committees are designed to temper ideas and give them a multidimensional perspective. A good intention but committees are composed of humans who let fear drive them. Fear kills great ideas.

The smarter amongst us need to shun committee-think and move this country ahead. Executives need to understand that now is the time of the individual. Give those of us with good ideas the ability to bring our ideas out! Stop plucking them apart in fear driven committees.

HEY MICROSOFT, yeah, I’m taking to you. You want a good ad campaign? Stop using committees. Here, I’ll design your ad campaign right now.

Picture this, I’m at my desk, no committee in site. Just a pencil and paper and I begin thinking. Hmm, I need a good slogan and a catchy offer. Thirty minutes later… bang.

Microsoft, here is your new ad campaign.

“Better than a Mac or your money back!”

Catchy, simple and tells the whole story. An entire series of useful and smart ads can be made that highlight how Microsoft uses cheaper hardware, has more software and runs well enough to be used by 89% of the market.

Then show why my Mac can’t connect to all the products that don’t have Mac drivers. And show people like me who can’t run software they desperately need on OSX so we use Bootcamp, Parallels or VMware. If Windows 7 works you’ll no longer need to eat crow in every Apple ad. In fact you’ll probably end up selling millions of licenses to Apple users who will install it on their Macs.

I’d respect this ad campaign and its brazen offer... “Better than a Mac or your money back!” tells us you know you have a great product this time.

And Microsoft, this is worth a fortune to you. How much did you pay Crispin Porter & Bogusky for the dumb “everyone else made Windows 7 so we don’t have to take the blame for it” ads? A big fortune right? Use my ad, I just want a small fortune.

This is an actual contract. Microsoft executes, you can print it out, execute it and send it back to me with a check and you’ve got your new ad campaign and spokesperson. Don’t worry, I’m really good. I sell my own products on live TV (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbkm8BlcPQk). If I can sell products I make I can certainly sell W7. And I can definitely present your products better than paid actors saying stupid things like “1 Billion = 7”.

Even better, the story will be on every media outlet in a few days. Can’t you see it? “Microsoft signs deal with an Advertising Nobody to get their first great ads in decades.” You’ll be edgy again. For you, Microsoft, this offer is worth considering.

Offer:

Perry Kaye (PERRY) agrees to license to Microsoft his copyrights in work titled “Better than a Mac or your money back!” including ads and slogans. For one year (TERM) from the date of the execution of this contract, Perry further agrees to give up his Mac and run his entire work and lifestyle computing needs on Windows 7 (W7). Perry further agrees to promote Windows 7 for the TERM and also to show why W7 is better than a Mac in a weekly webcast and at Microsoft events.

Consideration:

Microsoft agrees to pay to Perry a total sum of $10 Million US dollars for the above mentioned rights and services.

Acceptance:

____________________________________ Date ______/______/________

David Webster

Microsoft, General Manager for Brand and Marketing Strategy

Note: David may need a committee to review this contract. He would be considered a genius if he signed it and cut a deal with me. The press would be phenomenal. But if he uses a committee the fear will kill the idea and he’ll seek refuge in the arms of a committee and the CYA it offers.

The committee will kill it because it looks too risky. In actuality it’s not risky at all. The new “Better than a Mac” ads would tell people what 89% of the world already knows. Committees are too dumb to accurately asses risk. Proof? They’ll kill the “Better than a Mac” ads but release Vista with bugs. Any questions?

David may not be able to break away and sign this agreement. If that is the case then we need a bold Microsoft leaded to stand up and take the chance. Enter Steve Ballmer? If he has the balls to hire me he would look like a genius. (Please, someone get this article and offer to Steve Balmer before it is too late! My kids college tuition depends on it. And, I really can’t stand to see another muttonheaded Windows 7 ad.) So Steve, put your name on the line and get me a check and we’re in business!

____________________________________ Date ______/______/________

Steve Ballmer

Chief Executive Officer

It’s time. Microsoft, what’s your answer? Are you going to be the edgy smart company that Bill Gates and team built or are you going to keep licking Steve Jobs’ boots?

The choice is yours. Just stop offending and boring us with your stupid ads. We all know Aunt Mathilda and Uncle Morty did NOT make Windows 7. You did, so stand behind W7, make it work properly and make some decent ads about it. We’re better than your dumb ads make us look.

Slaying the Divas, Dragons and Dumbles BEFORE they kill your Tech Project!

Want to know why most Tech Projects fail? Then you'll enjoy this presentation which I gave at the Temple Tech group in Florida. In this discusion I reveal the Demons of Delivery and how you can slay them.

I also show you how to tell the difference between a Diva, Dragon and Dumble. Once you know the difference you can check and see if your a demon or a slayer.

Find out how to spot these trouble makers and complete your Tech/IT projects on time and on budget.

Click here to see the presentation.

Why people think inventor's are nuts...

Selling your invention, or not? It's up to you.

I've sold millions of dollars of my inventions and you can too, if you learn the way the system really works."

Me selling products on HSN (Home Shopping Network) a few weeks back.

Want to sell your inventions on TV? You'd think any inventor would LOVE to hear that but let me tell you a story about how inventors sometimes trip over their own shoelaces, again and again and again.

Inventors are most always nice and very well intentioned people, but often they don't understand how the system works. Let me give you an example. Recently I met a nice person, we'll call him Robert. He retired from his profession and following the smell of riches decided to invent.

How did I meet him you ask? He called me, as inventor's often do. Some inventors call for advice or to request financing. Other inventors call to shoot the breeze or simply to show me their invention and get a pat on the back. Robert was a mix of all these inventors. He had a product he filed patents on, registered trademarks and copyright on and even manufactured more than 20,000 units. I guess his total investment was about $200,000+.

What was he doing with his products? Just like most inventors, letting them take up space in his garage. He had almost the entire production run... sitting and waiting.

I looked at the product and immediately saw several mistakes. 1) Package was too big for product, 2) Package did not have even 1 photo of product in use, 3) flowery verbiage never told why anyone should but the product, 4) and etc...

But I liked the product. This is where my heart takes hold of my mouth. Do I tell the person about their mistakes and try to help them or do I just tell them they did a great job? I have to speak honestly but I do it gently to see the reaction. Robert, was receptive but not really. He felt the product was, "his baby", and wanted to get it sold for full price (even though no one was buying at his inflated price). He also didn't want to change the packaging because he put so much time into it (even though it was not selling the product).

I made him an offer. I said, "Robert, this week I am driving to meet the buyers at HSN again. I'll show them your product and if it sells I split the profit with you." (Typically licensing agents get a 50% split.) Robert was not sure. He was thinking about a future marketing event he was going to attend. I asked how many he sold at the last event like that and he told me about 1000 units. He also told me the event was a really long time ago. I could see he felt like he was parting with his baby. How can you sell your baby? You can't.

That is why most inventors invent for the chance of having a story to tell their friends and family. The story is worth more than the money. I left the meeting knowing eventually those 20,000 units would be discarded or donated. Sad. But it is why most inventors don't make money.

If your like Robert, don't call me. Please, tell your stories to your friends and family and enjoy the hobby. It's like bowing but with much more legal fees. But if you have a product you'd like to sell, feel free to call me. IF I like it I might be able to help you. If I can't I might know someone else who can. Bring me products NOT babies.

Cheers,
Perry Kaye
inventaholic.com

Electric Bodies...

Here people mix bodies, electricity and motion. Lots of fun. Very creative. Useful? Who cares... A great mix of inventive juices.

One thing Inventor’s CANNOT SELL!

Last week was interesting. I met a person trying to sell something he did not own. Rare breed? No, the funny part of this story is that I meet these people all the time. They are good people who simply don’t understand the ownership. It sounds strange but it is a common mistake. And it causes inventors and investors to work under a cloud of seemingly endless strife.

Intellectual property is a strange beast but its methods of ownership are well documented. The problem understanding it is that people think they own an idea by just thinking it. They’ll say “That was my idea”, as if simply percolating a thought incarnates ownership in it. It’s not that simple. The path to acquire ownership in an idea is not complete upon the idea’s birth it is simply begun.

Before you can sell an idea you must own it. The best way to understand this is to consider a silly example coffee cart idea. And while it seems silly now, if you’re a Creative there’s a good chance you’ve tried to do this.

Bob asks you to sign his “Iron Clad Non-complete Confidentiality Agreement” and you refuse. Bob agrees to tell you his idea anyway.

Then the rest of the example goes like this. Bob has an idea to open the “Eiffel Tower Coffee Cart” at the base of the Eiffel Tower. He wants to sell you this idea for $1,000,000 and a 10% royalty (its always the magic $1,000,000 and 10%). The visions of Paris and the smell of Hazelnut Creme cloud your thinking for a second or two. Then you begin to ask Bob questions.

You: Bob, do you own rights to the name “Eiffel Tower Coffee Cart”
Bob: No.
You: Do you have a lease for a coffee cart at the base of the Eiffel Tower?
Bob: No.
You: Bob, have you developed a coffee cart?
Bob: No.
You: Do you own a brand of coffee you are trying to sell me?
Bob: No.
You: Bob, WTF!?!

Bob has as much ownership in his idea as he does in the Eiffel Tower itself. Bob is NOT Victor Lustig (The man who sold the Eiffel Tower for scrap without owning it)! Literally, Bob owns nothing. And this is usually where the investor tells Bob he has no interest and Bob begins to get paranoid about who will steal his idea.

But Bob does not know that ideas are worthless. Only property rights have value. If Bob could have answered yes to a few of the above questions your conversation may have moved ahead. The rights Bob owned could have given you an edge over competitors because rights enable you to stop others from competing against you. If Bob owned the lease for the cart at the base of the Tower Bob does not need to bother with non-compete agreements. Bob is in control. And control is a sign of ownership.

For Bob to gain ownership he invest time and money in the creation of rights. And he can do that in several ways.
TRADEMARKS: Bob could build a brand of Eiffel Coffee and acquire legal rights in it through Trademarks.
PATENTS: Bob could patent a new and unique Coffee Cart or a method for infusing Coffee with flavors in a new way, if possible.
COPYRIGHTS: Bob could create a series of TV Ads that become so viral everyone knows about “Bob’s Eiffel Tower Coffee Cart”
TRADE SECRETS: Bob could formulate a mix of coffee flavors that are so delicious people wait in-line naked in inclement weather to buy.
REAL ESTATE LAW: Bob could acquire an exclusive lease for a coffee cart at the base of the Eiffel Tower.

Any of these rights gives Bob an ability to control some aspects of his idea. And these rights can be legally transferred, i.e. SOLD. The more rights Bob acquires the easier it will be for Bob to seem credible when offering his “idea” for sale. In fact he’ll no longer be offering an “idea” for sale, he’ll be offering actual intellectual property rights for sale.

Will Bob make money? Working to gain ownership only guarantees that Bob will SPEND money. Acquiring rights is usually a costly venture without any guarantees. The trademarks and patents may be rejected, the lease may be too costly or not available and Bob’s unique coffee flavor my be not so unique. Even with the rights there is no guarantee Bob will make any money.

But without rights Bob is simply a noob trying to sell unicorns and fairy dust. I’m not going to discuss the quality of the rights in this article as that would expand the article into a book. Just understand that not all Trademarks/Patents are created equal. And realize that you must own things before you can sell them.